This guy went from defending Bill Cosby to lying on me. It was a hilarious moment that I could've totally avoided, but now I can seriously distance myself from this coward. He is a local artist that will probably never get the stature he wants, not because he isn't talented, but because he is an entitled hotep. He and I met last year at a music event. Since I music blog I connected with him, as I did all the other artists in the venue. But of course he is a womanizer and started to hit on me and trade snapchats. I won't act like I wasn't digging it; I definitely found him cute, but it wasn't that deep. My attendance that evening was to support an artist friend of mine and connect with other upcoming artists. Weeks later, I put out a general invitation to go hiking via social media, as I do with many other events I don't want to go to alone, and he took up the offer.
As we were out there, there was of course flirting and whatnot, but that was that. Afterwards he started distancing himself saying he's going off the grid, which is fuhkboi terminology for " you're not opening you legs so I'm moving on". I was cool about it and fell back, but continued to support him musically. That would be by reposting his new music on my Instagram page. I already felt conflicted about supporting him because as we took the metro north upstate to hike, he already put a bad taste in my mouth with his homophobic and transphobic rantings. From that point I should've known he has an issue confronting the decolonization of his mind. He kept saying "if they want to do that, that's their business". And we know what type of headspace people who say that are in; it's that very problematic "I don't get it but as long as they keep it away from me they can do what they want" mentality that doesn't help the lgbtq community. Still, in hopes of trying to remain cool and potentially hold his interest again (sue me I kind if dug him), I kept following him.
So the clear misogyny with postings of "would rather be digging in your pussy but" as he works or something else to that same gross extent, still wasn't enough for me to act and separate myself from this person. But the last thing he did went too far. He posted a song he made about Bill Cosby. This is just in time for Bill Cosby getting his sentencing and beginning his jail serving. I was appalled that he would really defend that guy after not only Cosby confessing, but after so many women came out. Even with this recent Kavanaugh case, you would think men would sensitize themselves, but not this local artist.
I engaged in a pointless back and forth with him and kept it cute until he told me I should work for white supremacy (really me? Doe he even know who I am?). I then called out his foolishness and he made it about us, saying "he wasn't checking for me". I'm sorry what?! I think he forgot I was there too when he made all his moves. I unnecessarily rehashed out how things went, but he knows what happened. But gaslighting, the phenomenon of guys lying or changing the story around to fit their manipulative needs kept him pushing out his self righteous crap. He tried to make me out to be a thirsty and nasty girl. He tried to act like I went out of my way to get him. It's truly laughable because like I said, I was there too and remember what actually went down. I remember him saying if we did it, he would ejaculate in me. I remember every time I communicated with him afterwards, he tried to get me to come see him for sex. That's what happened, hun. And because your ego was crushed and I called you out on something wack, doesn't mean you get to lie on me. That's the easiest way to get more than your feelings hurt.
Guys have to do better. You don't get to objectify women freely anymore. You don't get to manipulate women into thinking they're wrong and they should be the one apologizing to you. Of course he blocked me like the coward he is, because fuhkbois cannot face it when hey come across a woman who's broken away from those abusive gender norms. Ultimately, I'll be fine and he'll continue to spew his foolishness onto whoever is willing to listen; but it does suck. I really wish the optimism I kept about him could've resulted in him being better than that. And perhaps he will be someday. But as of now, I stand proud of calling him out and tickled that he took it personal and blocked me.
