Pulse, Homophobia, Islamphobia, Trauma and My Role in LGBTQ Liberation

The events that took place last night at Pulse, a gay dance club, goes beyond tragic. 50 people died and 53 were injured at the hands of an assailant. Countless family members and friends were in disarray figuring out whether those at the club were alive or not. Cops had to transport folks on unmarked vehicles. Hospitals were shut down. There is no word strong enough to describe what occurred last night. There are a lot of issues that arise from it though: homophobia, Islamphobia and the exigent need for LGBTQ solidarity. Personally, I'm triggered and traumatized by theses events. I know I am not alone in this which leaves me ambiguous. While it is unfortunate we are reminded that society reminded us how we are hated for being outside the norm, it is therapeutic to grieve, express and heal collectively. Still, this occurrence renders more discussion and action.



All through out the nation, cities are having their Pride celebrations. This is typically a time for unapologetic queerness and an united front in the gay movement. It is ironic that today we  are reminded of the vulnerability and danger centered around being a gay person. Pride celebrates the strides made to resist these types of threats; yet here they are right in our faces in such tragic ways. Omar Mateen, the man who shot up the club with an assault rifle, attacked Pulse for a reason. After the incident, his dad reported that his son was outraged at the site of two men kissing. Mateen, like many others, has a deep hate for homosexuality. For one reason or another some believe they are above other for being hetero and that simply isn't the case. Unfortunately, when society continually conditions folks to believe being gay is wrong or unnatural, this allows room for people like Mateen to exist and do the evil he did last night.

Mateen was of Afghan descent, which is leading to a dialogue of ISIS affiliation and him being labeled a terrorist. What happened last night shouldn't make Muslims the scapegoat. The Islamphobic narrative must stop, as it will do what 9/11 did: demonize Muslims and make them targets of abuse and human rights violations. Folks are saying this is the America Trump wants, but that would be the America countless racists have wanted for years now. The anti-Muslim beliefs in this situation are nothing new, and it must be discontinued. Those of the Islam community cannot continually be blamed doe to their religion on account of a person who acted alone. No one ever calls the white man who shoots up a church a "terrorist". The perception of religion and queerness is skewed and the fight to liberate the oppressed is ongoing.

Today has been filled with triggers. Many people said this wouldn't of happened if people stayed home. As if danger cannot occur at any given time and place. Others blamed it on Jesus coming back soon, because of all the sin and evil in the world, including homosexuality. People called this a hoax. Some made it an issue on gun control, which genuinely plays a factor, but does not solve this issue. There were just a lot of insensitive, inaccurate and plain ignorant comments concerning what happened at Pulse. Even after the fact when homosexuals weren't being permitted to donate blood. There were so many opportunities to shut down, but still we resist and push forward. I'm certain it was difficult for other LGBTQ folks, seeing the way people diverted their attention away from the fact that what happened was an act of hate that's systemic. It is very triggering knowing that so many people could be killed in one instance over their relentless self-love and expression. Queer folks have to create spaces where they can be accepted, and gay clubs are a big part of that. Elsewhere they're  inhumanly out-casted. It's traumatizing to think of a place of sanctuary now being vulnerable.

It was just a really rough day. So many emotions and thoughts are conjured up. So many friends have been effected by this. While there is a shared pain, there is also a shared healing.

Like so many others I have moved away from Central Florida, and I'm now worried about our hometown. We still have friends and family who live and work out there and want to make sure they're safe. The community response today was encouraging. It was good to see organizing around getting folks to donate blood as well as providing snacks for those who gave blood. Many organizations spoke up and Pulse itself did a great job communication with people via Twitter. We all got to grieve together via social media. Many people offered a listening ear and planned candle vigils and actions. This is what LGBTQ solidarity looks like and it's powerful.

Being raised in Kisssimmee, the city that neighbors Orlando, I recall many of my friends and schoolmates frequenting this club. It was always thought of as a really fun place with good vibes. It is a safe space for folks to be their authentic selves without judgment. It is hard to believe this incident was so close to home. It shows there's underlying factors in the progression of the cry of Orlando. The community must challenge the elected officials and hold them accountable. Those that want to pray, must also acknowledge the homophobic ways of many religious outlets and act after praying. There's a lot to be done and we can all contribute. For me, I feel urged to be unapologetically queer. I think it is time to go harder for the queer family than I ever have.

While it is a sad day for Orlando, LGBTQ folks, Muslims and the loved ones of the fallen, we know there's a need to change how we view "being other".