Pulse, Homophobia, Islamphobia, Trauma and My Role in LGBTQ Liberation

The events that took place last night at Pulse, a gay dance club, goes beyond tragic. 50 people died and 53 were injured at the hands of an assailant. Countless family members and friends were in disarray figuring out whether those at the club were alive or not. Cops had to transport folks on unmarked vehicles. Hospitals were shut down. There is no word strong enough to describe what occurred last night. There are a lot of issues that arise from it though: homophobia, Islamphobia and the exigent need for LGBTQ solidarity. Personally, I'm triggered and traumatized by theses events. I know I am not alone in this which leaves me ambiguous. While it is unfortunate we are reminded that society reminded us how we are hated for being outside the norm, it is therapeutic to grieve, express and heal collectively. Still, this occurrence renders more discussion and action.



All through out the nation, cities are having their Pride celebrations. This is typically a time for unapologetic queerness and an united front in the gay movement. It is ironic that today we  are reminded of the vulnerability and danger centered around being a gay person. Pride celebrates the strides made to resist these types of threats; yet here they are right in our faces in such tragic ways. Omar Mateen, the man who shot up the club with an assault rifle, attacked Pulse for a reason. After the incident, his dad reported that his son was outraged at the site of two men kissing. Mateen, like many others, has a deep hate for homosexuality. For one reason or another some believe they are above other for being hetero and that simply isn't the case. Unfortunately, when society continually conditions folks to believe being gay is wrong or unnatural, this allows room for people like Mateen to exist and do the evil he did last night.

Mateen was of Afghan descent, which is leading to a dialogue of ISIS affiliation and him being labeled a terrorist. What happened last night shouldn't make Muslims the scapegoat. The Islamphobic narrative must stop, as it will do what 9/11 did: demonize Muslims and make them targets of abuse and human rights violations. Folks are saying this is the America Trump wants, but that would be the America countless racists have wanted for years now. The anti-Muslim beliefs in this situation are nothing new, and it must be discontinued. Those of the Islam community cannot continually be blamed doe to their religion on account of a person who acted alone. No one ever calls the white man who shoots up a church a "terrorist". The perception of religion and queerness is skewed and the fight to liberate the oppressed is ongoing.

Today has been filled with triggers. Many people said this wouldn't of happened if people stayed home. As if danger cannot occur at any given time and place. Others blamed it on Jesus coming back soon, because of all the sin and evil in the world, including homosexuality. People called this a hoax. Some made it an issue on gun control, which genuinely plays a factor, but does not solve this issue. There were just a lot of insensitive, inaccurate and plain ignorant comments concerning what happened at Pulse. Even after the fact when homosexuals weren't being permitted to donate blood. There were so many opportunities to shut down, but still we resist and push forward. I'm certain it was difficult for other LGBTQ folks, seeing the way people diverted their attention away from the fact that what happened was an act of hate that's systemic. It is very triggering knowing that so many people could be killed in one instance over their relentless self-love and expression. Queer folks have to create spaces where they can be accepted, and gay clubs are a big part of that. Elsewhere they're  inhumanly out-casted. It's traumatizing to think of a place of sanctuary now being vulnerable.

It was just a really rough day. So many emotions and thoughts are conjured up. So many friends have been effected by this. While there is a shared pain, there is also a shared healing.

Like so many others I have moved away from Central Florida, and I'm now worried about our hometown. We still have friends and family who live and work out there and want to make sure they're safe. The community response today was encouraging. It was good to see organizing around getting folks to donate blood as well as providing snacks for those who gave blood. Many organizations spoke up and Pulse itself did a great job communication with people via Twitter. We all got to grieve together via social media. Many people offered a listening ear and planned candle vigils and actions. This is what LGBTQ solidarity looks like and it's powerful.

Being raised in Kisssimmee, the city that neighbors Orlando, I recall many of my friends and schoolmates frequenting this club. It was always thought of as a really fun place with good vibes. It is a safe space for folks to be their authentic selves without judgment. It is hard to believe this incident was so close to home. It shows there's underlying factors in the progression of the cry of Orlando. The community must challenge the elected officials and hold them accountable. Those that want to pray, must also acknowledge the homophobic ways of many religious outlets and act after praying. There's a lot to be done and we can all contribute. For me, I feel urged to be unapologetically queer. I think it is time to go harder for the queer family than I ever have.

While it is a sad day for Orlando, LGBTQ folks, Muslims and the loved ones of the fallen, we know there's a need to change how we view "being other".

Rise Up October 2015

I'm just coming back from Rise Up October, an event I was invited to on Facebook months ago that I totally forgot about until my phone sent a reminder. To think I woke up believing it would be a boring Saturday, when instead I was marching from Washington Square Park to Bryant Park with what seemed to be thousands of other people, several community organizations and a heavy windbreaker.



Rise Up October was an event created to resist the ongoing mass incarceration and murderous acts  of police against people of color.

This is my account of the rally/march; read my prospective and experience.

 

Being the directionally challenged person I am, I thought I would take a while to find those gathered. To my surprise, I saw them once I turned onto University Place, being there was a big stage. My first thought was "oh no it's one of those events that uses respectable politics and 'creates awareness'". Either way I walked deeper into the crowd. I received a Revolution newspaper from the Revolutionary Communist Party, which seems like a really dope org. They showed up and showed out! One of their members got on stage and spoke. He spoke on how he shouldn't call himself a revolutionary or communist but does, which was another "oh no" moment for me. If we want change we've got to be radical about it.

There was a Pastor, a Rise Up member and a woman who was highly praised for her community work, I apologize for not remembering their names, that emceed the event more or less. The Pastor said a few things that I really appreciated. He touched on some rhetoric that's used to rebuttal the police being a system rooted in hate and racism. People say "not all cops are bad", "what about black police?" and "the officer was in fear of his life!" This pastor shut those ideas down by saying "if there are good cops, why aren't they reporting the bad?" He also said this about black cops: "you may be my color, but you are not my kind." The fact that he called out the entire police force a systemic form of hate was bold to me; I really appreciated it. He also highlighted the fact that churches are participating in the movement. Many churches and leaders are silent, but there are many churches that are present and active in these spaces of organizing and changing.

What I did not appreciate from this pastor however was him explaining that those church members who are apathetic are "sitting around eating fried chicken"; that seemed to be pushing stereotypes in my opinion. He also did not allow the event to be fluid. With events around something as heavy as the police killing unarmed people of color and not being punished for it as if our lives didn't matter, we need to leave room for unexpected occurrences. During the event families from all over the country were there, speaking out for their slain loved one, urging us to say their name. These folks are of course going to have a lot to say and want the time and respect to do so, because this is about them.

O'Shaine Evans' sister got frustrated at the pastor when he urged her to wait to speak or not to speak or whatever he said that would've stopped her from telling her story at that moment. She said "I'm tired of these politics. This isn't about y'all; it's about us." This really needed to be said. They had Eve Ensler, Quentin Tarantino (which is a whole other problematic concern) and Dr. Cornell West speaking at this event which is amazing, but this isn't about them; which Tarantino, West and a few other guest speakers were able to realize and gave their time up for the loved ones left behind to share and express. However, every time they did, that pastor would just call another guest speaker, though he did say he loved the families. It just could've been handled better in my opinion.

 

 

 

Once the march was about to start, the families of victims of police brutality began to line up. a group of organizers got on stage and sang "Hell You Talmbot" which was powerful. We started to march. I started marching with a few folks singing "I'm fed up I cant take it no more!" A man was playing his jembe and we were very celebratory. I advanced to some students playing on plastic buckets with sticks; they were also very live. Being a Dream Defender, when we show up, we turn up, so I like     being around like minded organizations and people during actions.

Something funny happened when marching with those students. Some white people in the march attempted to start a chant "white silence is white consent" which everyone else's face read the same as mine "Girl bye." There are always problems when white people want to participate in the movement without realizing their role in it. They need to be allies as Ensler, being a white woman, urged them to do in her speech. Those white people didn't do anything problematic per say, but there are definitely more powerful things to cry out in such a critical moment. So one of the students cut their chant short by starting another one. They tried to keep theirs going but finally joined the "Indict! Convict! Send those killer cops to jail! The whole damn system is guilty as hell!" chant.

I meet my friend Rachel half-way through the march and she led a song she taught me today. I heard it before but never grasped the words. It goes

          I can hear my brother crying 'I can't breathe.'
          Now I'm in the struggle and I can't leave.
          Calling out the violence of the racist police.
          We ain't gonna stop, til people are free!

We almost reached Bryant Park when cops blocked those still marching at 5th Ave. Many of us turned around to retrieve them. By the time I got there they were marching again chanting the call and response "Who's Streets? Our Streets!" chant. We all made it to Bryant Park and family members were beginning to speak again.

Due to fatigue and coldness I left at that moment. Overall I was glad to be there and thought a lot was done as far as action and planning. The next three demonstrations already have a date and I will be there, remembering the 1 year anniversary of the death of Tamir Rice and another year of remembering Eric Garner. I liked how so many people continued to urge families not to participate in Black Friday and Christmas gift shopping. I am paraphrasing, but a man from Justice League, an org in the Bronx, said "we won't buy Jordans while they make money off the work from our backs" This was not an all talk event which was great. It wasn't great that there were barricades on one street lane for us to walk along with cops lined up besides it. When cops are directing traffic at an event opposing them it weakens the message. I wish to have just took up the streets with the thousands out there. Even with the few "oh no"s I had at Rise Up October, all in all it was still a history changing moment and allowed us to lead the narrative.

Who was there? What'd I miss? Please share your experience at Rise Up October and get plugged into your community's organizations tackling the issues of mass incarceration, police murdering unarmed people of color, exploiting the poor and violation of human rights.