At some point, everyone reaches their breaking point. This breaking point looks like a long, raging and reflective one for me. I'm learning to commit to these break throughs by being bold in the moments I act. An example is rather personal, but I feel I should speak on it.
This moment was one of the most exhilarating moments of my life. I think what made it so special to me is that I was completely unwavering in my response. It may have appeared irrational or uncalled for, but I had to respond to ensure this problematic norm was called out. Growing up includes creating culture. In this society, there is a lot of culture that needs to be thrown away.
Essex street is the area for partying, primarily for cis straight white people who have no problem exhibiting their white privileges. Many times in this area, I feel like I am constantly on the defensive, due to the many microaggresions that can be thrown my way. From white guys saying "they didn't know water was so expensive" to white girls coming up and grinding on me, as they ask to touch my "huge boobs" and wonder if I can show them how to twerk, this area could make even the most respectability politics loving black person uncomfortable. This is why I've greatly minimalized my time in said area, but recently I was there for a good friend's birthday party. The party itself was great, we had so much fun as a group and the birthday girl enjoyed her night. But before that I had an explosive moment that I could've left me feeling one of two ways. I could of either let that moment pass and suppressed my anger, letting it manifest at a later date in the wrong ways; or I could of done what I did. What I did was take back my control, call out the coward, and potentially ensure he leaves black women the hell alone.
So what happened? Let me tell y'all.
My friend and I were alone at one point as day time party friends went home and night time party friends were still en route. That transitional time can get weird; so we just walked to her friend's restaurant in the area. As we came towards the restaurant, there was a group of white guys coming towards us and a line filled with white kids awaiting entrance into the neighboring venue beside us. One of the white guys coming towards us says "yo yo yo yo", and does all these mocking arm gestures. It was subtle enough to let go; but I just couldn't. I reached my breaking point. I turned back to look at him and he was laughing and saying something to his friend while looking straight at me. What happened next was my release. It was my victory.
I don't wanna repeat what I said, but just know I made him feel the way he was trying to make my friend and I feel. And it felt damn good to do, especially as I watched him turn around so quickly and shut his mouth. He should've kept it shut from the beginning. The after feeling was even better, as white kids stared at me as if I had the issue; which was fine because they made sure to keep their mouths shut. My friend kind of shrugged and we went into her friend's restaurant and cheered at midnight to free champagne for her birthday.
The lesson I got from this, is that standing up for myself is always worth it. I truly hope that jerk thinks again before he tries to enact violence on black women through microaggressions. I hope those white kids who witnessed it realize black women aren't their doormats, punching bags or objects for one way interactions. And I hope my friend is encouraged to stand up for herself every time she is faced with the same kind of hate.
So what happened? Let me tell y'all.
My friend and I were alone at one point as day time party friends went home and night time party friends were still en route. That transitional time can get weird; so we just walked to her friend's restaurant in the area. As we came towards the restaurant, there was a group of white guys coming towards us and a line filled with white kids awaiting entrance into the neighboring venue beside us. One of the white guys coming towards us says "yo yo yo yo", and does all these mocking arm gestures. It was subtle enough to let go; but I just couldn't. I reached my breaking point. I turned back to look at him and he was laughing and saying something to his friend while looking straight at me. What happened next was my release. It was my victory.
I don't wanna repeat what I said, but just know I made him feel the way he was trying to make my friend and I feel. And it felt damn good to do, especially as I watched him turn around so quickly and shut his mouth. He should've kept it shut from the beginning. The after feeling was even better, as white kids stared at me as if I had the issue; which was fine because they made sure to keep their mouths shut. My friend kind of shrugged and we went into her friend's restaurant and cheered at midnight to free champagne for her birthday.
The lesson I got from this, is that standing up for myself is always worth it. I truly hope that jerk thinks again before he tries to enact violence on black women through microaggressions. I hope those white kids who witnessed it realize black women aren't their doormats, punching bags or objects for one way interactions. And I hope my friend is encouraged to stand up for herself every time she is faced with the same kind of hate.
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