I'm sorry I hate to keep being that "men are trash" aunty, but I really cannot deal with how many guys conduct themselves. There's a few factors as to why I have such a sour sentiment on them: men in my life, men I've dated and men I've heard about gave me that. Of course it's a lie that all men are trash, but so many are making good men seem like mythical creatures in childhood fables.
Coming across good guys shouldn't be such an uphill battle. Neither should checking trash men o their trash tendencies. I'd even be content if I came across good guys that's not interested in me! But all the men I meet lack a sense of respect and value for women, not even for the woman they're dating. This is of course a generalization in the heterosexual spectrum of relationships, but the methodology is telling. I believe there is a sense of manipulation men inherently have because we're functioning in a patriarchy. Growing up, it was obvious in my household.
Seeing the way my father would raise his voice at my mom, but never seeing her raise her voice back, was clear evidence of such. He felt he didn't have to filter his anger while she did. This manifested onto my older brother one evening driving from the mall when he not only yelled in my mom's presence, but cussed too. The way we raise our boys is one that gives them a sense of superiority over women. They don't have to consider the woman while going through their process, but the woman's concern should only be the man. I know they are able to show love and appreciation to their lady, but looking at their relationships, I would be discontent with areas lacking respect.
My dating life is pretty tragic. The only official relationship I had ended in me blocking his number various times and moving from my old apartment. Maybe I am too earnest, giving the benefit of the doubt too often, but men I've come across have disappointed me in major ways. Aside from not giving me commitment, they had bad natures about them. Most left me feeling used, unimportant, lucky to have them around at all and perpetually damaged. Relationships don't have to be successful, but the process shouldn't hurt psychologically. What is it about men, that when they walk away from a prospective love, that candidate typically feels awful about themselves? Men have to be aware of their narcissism.
The countless stories about celebrity males cheating or abusing their gorgeous partners doesn't help either. So often, these gorgeous women hold everything the average man expects from a woman, yet they still fall victim to infidelity and scandal within their relationship. Who wants to deal with a trash man, let alone on such a platform?! Once again, men have a problem. It's society's fault, but they must be accountable.
What does that mean for me? Honestly, I'm unsure. I never want to feel like I settled for less in my partner. A trusting and loving person is a fair expectation for each of us. But do most people compromise in fear of loneliness? Either way, there is enough of an effort for men to know they need to get it together. Hopefully I come across a man who goes against the grain. If not, I know when the trash days are!
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