This is Women's History Month; a time to highlight the phenomenal women in history and who are making history. Many influential and trailblazing women come to mind and excite me this month. But for whatever reason, I've lately been fixated on the oppression women face through toxic masculinity. This disease appears in enigmatic and clear ways. We normalize it through society and I see the gross contradictions of domestic violence.
As I've shared before on this blog, my aunt passed due to domestic violence. Ever since then I am realizing more and more how toxic masculinity killed her. I'm realizing how people in her life normalized her husband's behavior. How they victim blamed. How they flip flopped their views to make all her situations her fault. It is heartbreaking and just disturbing. It angers me and leaves me resenting people. Feeling like they're cowards. I know this energy isn't resolution based but this is where I'm at. However, I want to be at a point where I'm looking at these systems that take away our peace, autonomy and life. I want to feel safe around men again; and I don't mean I sense a physical danger. But I am afraid too many men in my life think, contribute and exercise these oppressive ways towards women, to the point they would watch me die the way men in Maggie's life watched her die.
Yes that's a bold statement but the truth because we continue to taboo domestic violence. For one we don't understand what it is and the many forms it takes. We refuse to understand toxic masculinity and how we must challenge men to shift their perception of their relationship to women. To this day in a world of working women, female leaders, young girls who are entrepreneurs, women being credited for their contributions to history and just an all around neo Women's movement, I'm honestly befuddled at how men still can view women as lesser. Of course there is a sociological and demographic answer to this, but we must reverse this. Men need to be accountable and this is the root of my anger I've come to learn finally.
I just see too often in every outlet men aren't held accountable for the hurt they do to women. Women everywhere are shamed for the abuse they've endured. Boys are conditioned to conceptualize this all as the norm. This is literally toxic masculinity and it is destroying women.
The anger I feel seems to get stronger and turn into a rage. Something that specifically triggered me was an awesome podcast The Read. I just started listening to them and became an instant fan. They were talking about the restraining order Karrueche filed against Chris Brown. Most of us know about his attack on Rihanna in 2009, which left Rihanna severely injured and traumatized. Karrueche also claimed Brown hit her before and a neighbor confirmed hearing their struggles. Crissle who's a co-host, spoke about the scrutiny Karrueche went through for dating Chris Brown and the double sided judgment she received.
Folks were condemning her for dating Chris Brown in the first place. Then when he was being obsessive and a stalker people were saying he's so crazy about her she better take him back. You see how no matter his behavior and her defense, somehow she's still at fault? This was the same thing when it came to Rihanna. Folks will always blame the victim because we are never told to hold men accountable. As Crissle continued about this and how folks are stupid to think like this; I really felt her on this. Why is this the masses thinking process? When do we just realize these women tried to love a man who needs effective help and responsibility? I just think of how there are so many Chris Browns that I encounter daily. They are the pervs who check out children. They are the uncles who cop feels. They are the fathers who turn a blind eye to a woman's cry for help. They are the church that won't kick out an abusive member. They are the men who are intimidated by a powerful woman, whether it be by her wealth, leadership or knowledge.
I'm just tired of these men getting to enjoy their lives oppressively and peacefully all the while damaging however many girls. I hate how Rihanna, Karrueche, and many women that we'll ever know, because countless assault reports go unfilled due to women fearing they won't be believed, have to carry such the shame they didn't earn. Men just scare me and I love them so much but I do rage at their oppression. Like I stated prior, I want to effectively be fed up about this so I can be fired up and do something that'll be preventive and shifting. But for now I am processing this anger and exploring how I can confront the men like this in my personal life.
No comments:
Post a Comment