It has become painfully clear that I have a lot of haters. Whether from work, church and other social networks, people decide they don't like me. Me having haters isn't new; what is new is me realizing when someone is a hater and having to deal with them on a regular basis. This is an exhausting reality because, who wants to be around people that don't like them? It can be emotional draining and have me doublethink my actions and words in fear of being hated even more. But forget that! It's not my fault people don't like me and I won't let them effect me.
The fact is: haters g'on hate. There will always be negative and mean people who chose to be angry at somebody for just being themselves. I am not one to claim I'm a good person, but I am a very decent one. I respect others, I acknowledge people and I am very chill. Confidentially, I state there is no real reason for someone not to like me as I don't engage with people with any malicious intent. So these haters are just mad and I can't be bothered!
I've had to accept that you cannot make anyone like you. If someone has decided not to like me, it is on them. Who even knows where that hate is stemming from? Is it because I'm unapologetically big, black and beautiful? Is it because they see something in me they don't see in themselves? Is it because they don't like the way I laugh, walk or some other trivial thing? Who knows or cares? Acknowledging my haters has been a process that has been consuming me lately. While I want to be sure to protect myself from bad energy, I do not want to in turn become bad energy because I'm so focused on defending myself against hate.
How do we keep ourselves safe around haters while keeping our peace? While I have removed haters from my life that I don't have to deal with, there are spaces you cannot avoid them, like work. I am fairly good at ignoring nasty comments, being unbothered by jabs to get a reaction from me and mind my own damn business. But there are moments I react, and that isn't good for my spirit. There is no fruit from being nasty with haters. Then there is haters within your social network. What do you do when you love hanging out with someone who is great friends with your hater? I've been learning how to be present when surrounded by haters but not falling into their bad vibes. That's why it's so important to surround yourself with loving, positive people.
Although I have haters trying to bring me down, I'm always up because my chosen family is amazing. Last year I was intentional with the relationships I sought out, strengthened or reconnected with and it has been a blessing. Having people who genuinely like, value, support and celebrate you makes navigating through this hard life so much more doable. So haters can hate all they want because I have awesome friends and family who send time with meek think of me, pray for me, speak highly of me in front of and behind my back and just are good to me. With all that positive energy there's no way a hater could get me down. And like they say, a hater is a fan who doesn't know it yet!
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