Growing up in the church, there were certain dogmas pastors and congregation members held near and dear. One was "follow God's will". This always had a sense of ambivalence in my opinion because how do we know when it comes to us? I always found this idea sort of sedentary. However, there is another teaching that I remember seeing in scripture. "God gives you the desires of your heart." Functionally this sentiment makes more sense to me, yet I kept getting trapped in the mindset of looking for the will. Once I became intentional with God and expressed my desires, my life has shown evidence of my heart's desires being fulfilled.
When it came to my career choice, I definitely suppressed the desires of my heart and was in search of God's will. My parents and other family members are in the health field; so it cannot be too surprising that my mother just knew I would become a nurse. This idea has been instilled in my since high school and I followed this path up anti university. After flunking many of the prerequisites I kept on, until finally a director of the medical college told me straight up I wouldn't be a nurse. While this should have hurt my feelings it just affirmed what I kept ignoring: I don't wanna be a nurse. Knowing this chapter of my life was closed, I quickly knew which door to open up next.
In third grade I was embarrassed by my teacher in the best way. She was yelling at the class about the poor work on the last essays and ended up pointing me out. She was saying I was the best writer in the room. At that moment my head when down and I blushed and smirked like the awkward 8 year old I was, but there was a reason I remember that moment years later. I had to realize the desire of my heart is writing.
Now it is one thing to love something and another to make a career off of doing what you love. Most folks are discouraged to make working in their passion a reality. Understandably so; the reality is the bills do not pay themselves. But, when you're intestinal with God, and really speaking the desires of your heart into existence, the dream comes into fruition.
Having resided in New York for the past couple of years has been challenging. This is not a cheap city. Nonetheless I started writing and teaching. At work I was becoming pretty discouraged. I did not see an opportunity for growth and thought I was not doing well. Either way at night I would affirm the desires of my heart. And when I say an opportunity presented itself at work that I did not think I would see, I mean it came in a fast whirlwind of joy.
I praised God and became awed at the fact that God does grant you the desires of your heart. Be very intentional and know what you want. I have not "made it" but I am definitely making it happen.
No comments:
Post a Comment